Who am I to stand in the way of evolution?

A little spider was on the wall in my bathroom and, having no glass handy, I decided I should smush it. I’m not always so cruel, but I was in a hurry. Tissue in hand, I reached up to get him and at the last moment he sprang out of the way. Curses! He ran down the wall, so I tried again, but this time he zipped onto the tissue and immediately shot off on a thread, nearly landing on me. I tried to get him close to the wall to take another shot, but he pulled back up his thread and I couldn’t get the angle.

It was at this moment that I thought, wait, what the hell? This guy is amazing. He’s a better dodger than any little house spider I’ve ever seen. He’s probably going to grow up big and strong and propagate those awesome genes. He’s advancing the species! How can I stand in the way of that?!

So I carried him on his string all the way over to the window and let him go on his way. Good luck, buddy.